<Want to enter our contest? Just send your entry to jeffle@caloriefactory.com>
OK, so we were in a terrific rush. So Bonney’s tummy was feeling a little grumbly. So the streets had no signs on them, making it nigh-impossible to find any of the great restaurants that had been recommendd to us.
Still – eating lunch at an Applebee’s restaurant in La Paz was a catastrophic mistake of the highest order.
I decided a turkey club was harmless. How could you mess up a turkey club sandwich, right? Let me count the ways.
First, the sandwich not only had turkey – foul dry slices from a processed chunk of long-dead meat. It had ham. At least, ham was my best guess for the 3/16″ thick slices of what I assumed was some kind of sandwich meat, glutinous and possibly made from a species of animal not of this Earth.
Then, the bread was toasted until it was so crumbly I ended up having to use a knife and fork to eat a sandwich!! Even then, the toasted bread crumbled wretchedly around the meat, leaving me with a tiny bit of the squamous ham, the long-dead turkey, and, if I were lucky, a tiny bit of bacon. And by bit I mean – like – Bacon Bits.
The cheese was a sharp mis-match – perhaps a smoked provolone. Again, it was difficult to tell it was cheese, let alone what kind of cheese it was. The lettuce was so old it had a picture of a man killing a tiger with a spear on it. And the tomato was. . .sorry, I can’t even talk about the tomato, it filled me with despair – and this in a land where perfect tomatoes were being grown at farms just a few kilometers out of the city.
Binding everything together into a perfect package of putrefaction was about a quarter C. of lightly congealed mayo.
I was famished, but could only eat two small bites before putting down my utensils. No mas. Surrounded by ethnic cuisine of the highest order, was this the best we could do? Tragically, the answer was “yes” – we were just in too much of a rush.
The result? The worst sandwich I have ever eaten in my life.
So, What’s the Contest and How do I Enter?
Calorie Factory is soliciting stories for “Best Sandwich I’ve Ever had (or made)” OR “Worst Sandwich I’ve Ever Had (or made). The winners will have the pleasure of seeing their entry appear on Calorie Factory’s front page where thousands (OK, dozens, but we’re young!) of readers will get to read your tale.
We love stories and recipes from our readers, so, send your story to jeffle@caloriefactory.com – we look forward to publishing it.
